just a couple comments about the city before i go inhale the sweet, sweet fumes of some furniture polish and read february’s lucky. for one thing, i don’t think i ought to have much to say about a fake reality show with less dialogue than a mennonite funeral. and, also, someone forgot to dvr this shiz for me (i’m talking to you, michael) and i missed the first few minutes. onward, ho!
1) thank god whitney found a home. being homeless in nyc is sooo demode*. i was thisclose to calling the women’s shelter and sending whit over some mini shampoos i stole from the W in san francisco. crisis averted.
2) and yes, idiot commenters of the blogosphere, my earlier assertions have been confirmed: olivia does live in tribeca. how very edgy of her. livy honey, only new money lives in new construction. take that, you sad, sad little person who never even contributed to like one group project ever during your time at the new school**.
3) olivia is really doing her best captain hook with that shirt. you know nevan is totally loving this shit. a little more shoulder pad and she could be edging towards Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan. way to go, livy. work hard for that money. more hairspray! more blush! go! go!
4) and now, on to jay. stanton social? please. and does this guy only wear tee shirts? and does everyone only eat dinner at 6pm? jay’s boyfriend/girlfriend comment is really kind of dick. talk about a trap. walk away, whitney. walk. away. you can’t trust guys with accents AND facial hair. AND he’s scared of the big bad b-word. also, this guy seems like he’s high as shit.
5) is big bird jewish? does anyone know? the way she ends all of her words with a “k” sound is really starting to bug me.
6) jay has a shit eating grin- i have it on good authority that this comes with the name, as my boyfriend is also named jay. thankfully, no one has taught him how to read yet, so he doesn’t know about this blog.
7) whitney, honey, in new york city, when a guy says the words “take it to the next level”, he means anal. always.
*almost as demode as, say, eating at a chinese restaurant at 6pm on a SUNDAY. i’m TALKING TO YOU OLIVIA.
**i have no idea why i’m hating on her so much. her skin is lovely. and i wish i had her hair stylist; likely some underpaid filipino woman whom she bats with her clutch every time the iron gets close to her ear. oh, come on. you knowwww homegirl isn’t hooking up the conair herself every morning at 7AM while drinking laxative tea and doing her kegels. that would be sooo downtown.